even scarier than

tonight i did the scariest thing i've done in a long time.

it was even scarier than my first day of clinical when i had to do a sterile dressing change on my patient's leg, and i had never done one outside of lab before.

it was even scarier than last thursday when i put a urinary catheter into my elderly patient who hadn't peed in too many hours, and i had never done one outside of lab before.

it was even scarier than the excessive amount of blood that was coming out of my patient's surgical wound, and the amount of urine that was not coming out of the catheter.

it was even scarier than the little episode my patient had on friday, when one minute he seemed to be doing fine, and then only 10 minutes later, he looked terrible, his level of consciousness dropped, his blood pressure plummeted, and his heart was beating half as many times as it should have been per minute. yes. scary. he could have died. a couple hours later, once he was stable and the chaos in the room subsided, i gave him a blood transfusion, and i had never done one outside of lab before. oh wait, we haven't even covered those in lab yet. that's coming up in 3 weeks.

clinical has been interesting to say the least!

the scary thing was.... i went downstairs and talked to our neighbour. ho, not so scary, you say? well, at night they have these nightly conversations in their bedroom and they've been driving us batty. we usually end up turning on a fan, to make some white noise to cover it up. well last night we had had enough. at the usual time, their conversation started and we tossed and turned, determined to fall asleep without the droning of our fan (we don't really like the fan, especially because who wants a draft in the room in winter??). finally, after at least an hour, i jumped out of bed and knocked on the floor. the voices carried on like they hadn't even heard me, so i knocked again. and then knocked again. and maybe again, i don't know i was so tired and frustrated i started to cry. i was tempted to go downstairs right then, but i didn't (probably for the best!) we turned on the fan at last and fell asleep.

this morning i slipped a note under their door reminding them that voices (male voices) carry especially well in the bedroom, at night. don't know why, but they do. [i had been fine-tuning this note for the last month]. when we got home from school, there was a note under our door. a very polite note, but you could tell they weren't pleased. she hinted that it was cowardly to leave notes and invited us to have 'polite conversation' and also for a cup of coffee. okay. she seems nice enough. it took all evening, but i finally worked up the courage to talk to her at 9 pm. i thought i'd just say, "hey, i'm from upstairs..." and things would just start rolling. i'm pretty good with people, i thought i could make this conversations flow smoothly.... not so. i introduce myself (although she knew who i was i'm sure because i've seen them spying on us... that's another funny story) and she just looks at me, "okay." *glare*
"so, i just came down here to clear things up...." "alright." *blink*
"yes, see, i got your note...." *stare*
okay, things aren't going how i thought they would. so then i just start talking about how we feel, not too apologetically, because we're still frustrated, but i tell her that now i understand her side of the story (apparently her husband only gets home from work at 11 pm each night and then they need to catch up). eventually, she admits that they were/are really upset at my knocking on the floor last night like they're a "bunch of wild beasts who have no life".... but we keep talking and start talking about school and find out that she's in education, as is R. this breaks the ice and finally she smiles. "oh good," i think to myself, "let's keep her smiling." so we talk some more and start to joke around and she tells me of the pig-sty that her apartment looked like before they moved in (the guy before her, bozo, the one i used to complain about, left beer bottles and underwear everywhere, when the landlord showed her around the place) and we laughed and it was good. before i left, i told her i felt much better and she admitted that she thought she felt a bit better too, but she didn't seem totally convinced yet. oh good. i hope this helps!! it is 10:59 pm right now, and i guess her husband is coming home any minute.... i hope things are different tonight....

post #100

yuppers, it is my 100th post on my good ol weblog.... and it's been approximately 1 year since i first started it! i realized that the blogs that i frequent are either of bethany people, who live with bethany roommates and still hang out with bethany friends (of whom i may be a bit envious) or else it's the blogs of some amazing mommies with super cute kids and crazy busy lives (also of whom i may be a bit envious). "am i getting boring?!?" i wonder aloud to myself.
so..... i tried to think of all the new and exciting things i've done since one year and 99 posts ago. my goal was to come up with 100 of them, in accordance with this being #100 and all.... but i got stuck! and i didn't want to bore you all with too much medical talk again. so, here's the first half of the 100. i may think of 50 more some other time....

for the first time, i:

1. started a blog!
2. bought a new vacuum cleaner
3. discovered that i love steak
4. suctioned snot out of a baby's nose
5. gave patients IV medications (scary at first!)
6. learned to start IVs
7. went to IKEA and didn't actually buy anything
8. had bronchitis
9. made shortbread
10. removed a catheter
11. aided in the delivery of 3 babies
12. visited friends in the hospital after they had a baby
13. threw a partylite party
14. was an MC at a wedding
15. was a counsellor at a day camp
16. was a camp nurse
17. went to fun mountain 6 times in one summer
18. went to the zoo 7 times in one summer
19. went to b.c. twice in 3 months
20. babysat 18 kids at a church christmas program
21. it was the first time i had even been to that church
22. gave an enema to a ten year old boy
23. perfected my chili recipe
24. turned 24
25. bought a dress that wasn't on sale
26. was at my brother-in-law's wedding
27. discovered that the sappy music on full house starts at precisely 5:23 pm
28. learned how to put a screaming baby to sleep
29. saw a c-section
30. helped a woman breastfeed her new baby
31. discovered "everybody loves raymond" and "king of queens"
32. started reading the anne of green gables series
33. completed the "expert" level of minesweeper
34. taught a grade six class the importance of hand washing, glow-in-dark "germs"
35. celebrated christmas eve/morning at our place, just the 2 of us
36. discharged patients from the hospital
37. figured out how to play sudoku
38. jolly rodger's minigolf!
39. changed the dressings on a surgical wound
40. biked from hecla campground to hecla village
41. took a roadtrip to saskatoon
42. actually somewhat enjoyed a game of settler's
43. read 'the hobbit' to R
44. fed a baby through an NG tube
45. injected normal saline into the subcutaneous tissue of the abdomen of a good friend
46. made spinach tortellini soup
47. was in love with my boss
48. bought a new tent
49. camped at hecla island 3 times in one summer
50. saw R's chin without a goatee

btw, #47... did i mention that i worked for R last summer?

odds and ends

i got this little title from a chapter of the last book i just finished, anne's house of dreams. yes, that would be referring to anne of green gables, and yes, the house of dreams belongs to her and gilbert.

this semester has been quite strange thus far. i have one 6-credit-hour lecture course and a 2-credit hour lab. and then clinical on thursdays and fridays. so... not too busy! it's quite wonderful. i'm loving it. i have time to read anne of green gables! and my major course (restoration) is completely built upon my maintenance class from last semester, so.... it sorta feels like we haven't learned very much yet. but our first test is tomorrow... then we'll see if i've learned anything!
i'm in surgery this semester and my clinical is on a post-op ward in a hospital very close by. it should be good. i've only had 1 real day of clinical and already i've done a few things that i've never done outside of skills lab. (i will have plenty of those kinds of stories for you in the future..... apparently we do a lot of iv-starts and catheterizations..... both of which i've never done outside of lab).
a super good friend of mine from school just got engaged this past weekend (congrats, rae!) and it got me thinking about how blessed i am with R. you know, the other night as we were trying to fall asleep, apparently i made a face at him, or so he says, so he made one back and it kept going till i was laughing so hard and my stomach hurt so bad... "ha ha ha ha.. ow ow! haha! ow ow ow !" i was trying to fall asleep, but it certainly wasn't working.....
so i've decided to not take summer courses. me, who is completely against going to school in summer because my little brain needs a rest, i was actually considering it for awhile. but nope, it's my last summer "off", i'm gonna work for TSC tree nurseries again (you know, delivering to home depots...) and then, Lord willing, we'll have enough money to take a little vacation somewhere. wooohooo!

our hearts and souls are knit together...

yesterday i read a book. yes, the whole thing. either that says that i'm a fast reader, which i guess i am, or that the book was not as good as anticipated and i kept reading, and skimming, to get to the good parts. the most disappointing part was that i was reading a karen kingsbury book. she usually writes good stuff!! she writes christian fiction - but not usually fluff books. or so i thought up until yesterday. her characters lives are full of drama, tragedy and loss, births, deaths, crumbling marriages, questioning christianity, out-of-wedlock pregnancies, murder, illness, infertility..... and of course love and romance. now i'm a girl and i love romance. but.... seriously. enough is enough. there's this one character in this book who drove me crazy. every time her dreamy husband walks into the room, her heart soars at the sight of him and she realizes that he is a gift from God and that's she's so blessed. well that's just peachy, but you already realized that last chapter. and the chapter before.
oh! and now he just came home from work as a firefighter and he even LOOKS the the part of a hero ... with his broad shoulders and soot smudged on his face.... oooooo! do you really need to feel faint EVERY TIME he walks into the room?
quote: "Our hearts and souls are knit together. I'm not sure where I end and he begins."
what can i even say after a line like that? i'm married, i'm in love with my husband, but.... sorry, R, i don't swoon every single friggin time you walk into the room.
oh, here's a good one. the scenario is that her family is getting seated around the dinner table: "Her heart soared as the scene played out, because Landon belonged here. What if she hadn't married him? What if she'd allowed herself to remain stubborn and jaded the rest of her life? A shiver passed along her arms and at the base of her neck." okay chick, how many times do you have to realize this? this is not the first time. or the tenth time. you turned him down a bunch of times and now you're glad you changed your mind. get over it.

okay, i'm not even going to get into how she finishes off each and every chapter with a one sentence paragraph and the sentence is just a sentence fragment. "Because it existed in the person of Landon Blake.", "Whether he was crazy for being here or not." or "No matter how terrible the storm about to descend on them."

really.

ominous disruption looming in the future

this is the picture on our desktop right now. this is what i long for. warm, summer days.... relaxation... the great outdoors..... being barefoot...... freedom to do whatever i want.... yes, i did just come off holidays, so i should be all relaxed and happy? nope... if you remember what it was like always on those first days of a new semester.... it's always a little overwhelming. never mind paying tuition and buying more new books and trying to sell old books that you paid $80 for and opened once and they'll only give you $20..... at least i'm not starting this semester with bronchitis.

the thing about being a student that is so wonderful is the routine. it takes a bit to get used to the new routine with every new semester, but there is a routine. a familiarity. i like to sit in my little comfort zone of routine. september = back-to-school. october/november = midterms, projects. december = finals and then christmas holidays. january = do it all over again. end of april = summer holidays, working a summer job that ends in 4 months.

okay, but what happens when R graduates in april and starts substitute teaching for may and june. and then teaching in september... and i'll be in my last year. do i try to do any courses during the summer? is it worth finishing 4th year in 2 semesters, or should i do it in the usual three (two, plus my senior practicum)? if i'm longing for a holiday now, on january 10, i think i'll really need one come may. then come all the other questions about careers and where in the world we want to live and work....

i don't like this ominous disruption looming in the future of my comfy school routine. it's all coming to an end, and yes, i'm quite eager to be done being a student, and actually make some cash so that when i'm at the grocery store i don't need to look longingly at the can of aylmer's accents: petit cut tomatoes in garlic and olive oil, but reach for no name's diced tomatoes (with spices). hmmmm, are they the same? (we'll find out soon). probably. and i'll probably always buy no name products, because they're usually exactly the same and because, let's face it, i'm cheap. okay... i'm thrifty! i'm a mennonite! i'm a student! i'm a mennonite student! i love being thrifty, but i also like to have money to buy nice food.
i like to buy nice food. i like to make nice food for my husband. i like being a little housewife. and i like my routines. is that too much to ask?

ha! i blogged first....

walking in a winter wonderland

i can't believe it.... today's my last day of holidays. it went by way too fast! i don't think that my brain is ready for another semester of learning. i don't want to learn more right now. i don't want to sit in class and take notes and write tests yet.i don't want to have to go to the hospital in the evening to get my patient info and then stay up late researching. i don't want to be in the hospital, wearing my white scrubs, responsible for a few patients. i don't want the stress of it all. i like my holidays. i like doing whatever i want to do. yes, i'm selfish, i know.
this past weekend, (most of) my family spent the weekend at a cabin in the whiteshell in the canadian shield. it's become a winter family tradition and we spend the whole time playing games, going for walks and eating delicious food. last year, we spent almost entire time outside, perfecting a toboggan run that started at the cabin and went down the rock to the frozen lake. unfortunately we hadn't had much snow yet this year so inner-tubing was out.
on saturday night we had a campfire outside since it was so warm, and a few hours later, it started to rain. rain in december in manitoba is never a good thing. a half hour later it was still raining and i was wondering how we'd make it home the next day on the windy, hilly roads. by the next morning, there was almost a foot of snow everywhere. it was gorgeous. and we did make it out. too bad all the snow didn't come before the weekend so we could make the world's greatest tube run all over again. check out mom and dad's album for more of our exciting adventure!

it felt like we were in lantern waste and
mr. tumnus was going to jump out and invite us to tea at any moment.