i've been quite busy. no, not with homework. i lost a lot of motivation in that department lately, which is unfortunate since, as you can see by my little counter, i still have 2 weeks before my 2 big exams. i've been scrapbooking. and rediscovering text twist. yesterday i did a bunch of sewing. well, more like mending. i had this pile of clothes that was building higher and higher that needed attention - clothes that all needed to be taken in. no, there are no diets going on in this house, unless of course you count the married-students-on-a-pretty-tight-budget-
since-i-work-6-hours-a-week-at-8-bucks-an-hour (read: "a whole lot 'o spaghetti and ragu sauce"), but because we've discovered that there are clothes in our closets and drawers that either stretched out or simply that we don't wear our clothes as baggy as we did back in the 90s. thank goodness. [no, i do not regret those phat pants. i have them stored away for the future generation to laugh at.]

that's what i did yesterday, while i was at home on a friday. yes, that's right, my clinical is done. hurray. what i don't understand is why i haven't really LIKED any of my clinical rotations. oh yes, i have had some great experiences, i have learned some pretty neat things, i have had moments that i have truly loved. you may disagree but watching a new baby enter the world is the craziest, coolest miracle ever. and i have had patients that i have thoroughly enjoyed. but have i ever really LIKED clinical? have i ever gone to bed at night on wednesday and said to myself, "oh goody. tomorrow i'm spending the whole day at the hospital doing things i've never done before, teaching patients about things that i just read about for the first time on the internet tonight, feeling awkward and pulling out my best acting skills ever. i can hardly wait. i can't sleep because i'm so excited." no. i don't actually know anyone who can say that. and yet, i still want to be a nurse. i do hope and believe that real life is different than this.

by the way, i ended up with a B in this clinical, and i am fine with that. she gave me a lot of compliments and a bit a good constructive criticism (which i took better than i usually do - i'm
not so good with criticism). she told me that if we would have had 2 more weeks, i'd probably be up to a B+, since we start at a C at the beginning. i still need to keep on working on "not making excuses" but try harder to think about how i can do things differently next time. whatever. anyways, that's over. and classes are done this week, and then...... summer........